I can’t remember the last time I had a packet of Ready
Salted Chipsticks. I didn’t realise at the time that it would be my last
packet. The strong likelihood is that it was Two Packets, because as we all
know, there is no such thing as One Packet of Ready Salted Chipsticks.
The craving for them has taken over my life somewhat. I
never really used Twitter before. I didn’t have anything to say that was of
particular interest. Now Ready Salted Chipsticks are all I post about (I’m
really hoping it starts trending soon).
I’ve been thinking about getting a new
job, so I did a quick search of myself online to see what my profile is and
what prospective employers might encounter, and the most prolific thing on
there now is my #readysaltedchipsticks. I’m now horribly worried that this will
come up at an interview. I can see how it would go…
Interviewer: “So, you seem to be very vocal about Ready
Salted Chipsticks. Why is that?”
Me: “They are the best crisp in the world, but unfortunately
they’ve been discontinued. I’m hoping to bring them back”
Interviewer: (after a brief pause to measure up if I’m
insane or not) “But there are still Salt and Vinegar ones, right?”
Me: *RAGE BLACKOUT* in which I can only assume that I
ranted at them for 20 minutes on the fact that I don’t love Salt and Vinegar Chipsticks, in fact I outright despise them,
and that they are not, never will be or should be a substitute for the wonder
of the Ready Salted Chipsticks. I love
Ready Salted Chipsticks, and to suggest that Salt and Vinegar are a suitable
alternative is like losing your family dog and having it replaced with a
goldfish.
Interviewer: (Confirmation of insanity received – WE WILL
NOT EMPLOY THIS WOMAN!)
It made me wonder if I should bother looking for a new job.
Or whether I should wait until the battle is won, and I can once again get the
salty corn snack goodness of Ready Salted Chipsticks, making me a calm and
reasonable person again.
Would you even want to work for people who didn't understand such an important issue?
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